In-person men’s group now running in Tunbridge Wells. Find out more…
- Do you value the company of other men but struggle to share your innermost problems with them?
- Do you want to do a better job of raising your kids than your father was able to do with you?
- Are there times when you think you’re letting your kids down, when you’re unsure of the right thing to do?
- Have you read the self-help books and the parenting guides, but find that you’re still struggling with the fact that you just didn’t have a good role model?
Welcome to Father Lessons, where I explore and share wisdom, life lessons and insights about fatherhood, allowing you to assemble the toolkit that your father couldn’t give you.
I’ve done my best as the father of three kids and I’m proud of having done a lot of things right. But I’ve got a lot of things wrong, too. And I’ve rarely felt able to fall back on “What would my Dad have done?”
So, over the last few years, I’ve been on a journey to learn more about myself, my relationships and fatherhood. Along the way I’ve had some amazing and transformational experiences, and I’ve picked up practical lessons that have worked for others and stories that we can all learn from.
The most significant step I’ve taken was to join a men’s group. It literally changed my life. I was so positively impacted that I went on to train as a Therapeutic MensWork Facilitator, am currently training as a Counsellor, and in early 2024 I started the Tunbridge Wells Men’s Group.
RECENT FATHER LESSONS BLOG POSTS
- A Men’s Group in 4 Minutes
People often ask me what a men’s group is, how it works…what’s it for? It can be tricky to explain in words, you really have to experience it to fully get it. Especially if you’ve never done this kind of work before, if you haven’t developed the vocabulary of feelings and emotions, let alone used it to describe your own experience. But this music video for the Elderbrook & Rudimental track “Something About You” captures it really well. - Speak Up, Man: how talking circles are supporting a healthier masculinity
I am kneeling quite awkwardly on a cushion in a yoga studio in London’s Shoreditch on an unseasonably chilly Wednesday and wondering when exactly will be the optimum time to rearrange my legs. I have an ice-cold mango and passion fruit kombucha beside me and an agonising case of pins and needles. The solution to pins and needles, I learned a few years ago, is to directly confront the agony: pull your legs out from underneath you, bend your toes up as high as they can reach, and yes, it will hurt far more initially, but then the pain subsides. I’d like to do this very much, but sitting opposite me is a man – sitting all around me are men – and it is his turn to talk. He has eight minutes to tell us – all men, all strangers – what has been bothering him lately, or this week, or today, or for his entire lifetime, and right now he is on a roll. - International Men’s Day 2024
On November 19, International Men’s Day celebrates worldwide the positive value men bring to the world, their families and communities. It highlights positive role models and raise awareness of men’s well-being. The theme for 2024 is “Positive Male Role Models”.